How Many People Really Need to Know About My Food Allergy?
Dear FAANTeen,
My mom is constantly making sure that everyone I hang out with knows about my food allergy. What can I do to make her understand that I can look out for myself and that the whole school doesn’t have to know about my allergy?
As the Beatles so wisely noted, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” Sure, you could probably look out for yourself and be fine most of the time. But why risk that other percent of the time and only look out for yourself, when your friends can so easily be such a huge help. Think about all the superheroes you’ve ever seen or read about – even though they have magical powers at their disposal, almost none of them work alone. Batman has Robin, Superman has Lois Lane, and the Fantastic Four have a whole crew!
As you get older, the amount of time you spend with your friends will undoubtedly increase, and the number of Saturday nights you spend watching movies with your folks will probably decrease. That’s not to say you’ll never spend time with your family, or that you’ll spend 24 hours a day with your friends – but just as your family members all know about your allergy and help to keep you safe, your friends can be a huge help in looking out for you with your food allergy. Your friends are your superhero crew – use them.
Sure, you might be incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of papering the halls with flyers or posting a billboard in the gym advertising your food allergy – I don’t think anyone would blame you. But think of how uncomfortable you would be if you started to have a reaction while at school or hanging out with your friends, and no one knew what was going on or how to help you. You’re right – the whole school doesn’t necessarily need to know about your food allergy. However, you definitely need a number of significant people who see you on a daily basis – other than your family members – who know the foods to which you are allergic, what key foods you need to avoid, and what to do if you start to experience a reaction.
Different families choose to handle food allergies differently as the food-allergic individual gets older. Some teens always travel in a pack of the same friends, and they are more comfortable discussing their food allergy one-on-one with each of their friends, rather than making a big announcement to the whole school. Other teens prefer that everyone they see on a regular basis feels comfortable discussing food allergies openly, and so they hold an assembly or make a presentation to each of their classes at the beginning of the school year. Talk to your parents and your doctor to determine what type of plan makes the most sense for you.
As for your mom hounding you – make a “date” for the two of you to sit down and talk about a plan to determine who needs to know about your food allergies, and what/ when they need to know. Ask her why she worries so about making sure everyone you know is aware of your food allergy and explain to her why you don’t want to hang a poster on the outside of your locker that says “Beware of Food Allergies.” I have a hunch you both will discover that you really do see eye to eye after all – and that will make it much easier to come up with a game plan that makes both of you comfortable.
While you might not be able to scale buildings or fly, avoiding foods to which you are allergic is a feat in and of itself. Keep your superhero crew close, and your food allergies will seem that much easier to manage.
Good luck!
Marguerite is a 24-year-old graduate of the College of William and Mary. She lives in northern Virginia and likes to run, write, and cook.
Comments
At first I was really embarrassed to tell people about my allergies. Everyone would ask five billion questions, and then the conversation would continually revolve around my allergies and nothing else.
After reacting a few times in front of friends, I realized that it was important to let people know what is going on. First of all, if they know about your allergies and when they should worry about you, they won’t freak out if you just break out in hives. Secondly, if they know about your allergies and you were to lose consciousness, or something else, they would know what was going on, and could help you with your epinephrine auto-injector or something before it was too late.
By not telling those around you, you put yourself at risk of having a reaction without anyone to help you. I have found that if I casually mention my allergies when eating with someone new, and entertain their questions for a bit, they generally don’t make a huge deal out of it. The cat is then out of the bag and it is easier to relax and enjoy your meal.
I can totally sympathize with the mom issue. Mine tells everyone who comes to our table about my allergies whether they are our waiter or not. I usually just quietly ask her to stop, and it gets the point across that I cam take care of myself. Good luck!
~Julie age 21, allergic to Corn, Soy, Wheat, Fish, Shellfish, Sesame, Milk
The information above is not designed to take the place of a doctor’s instructions. Patients are urged to contact a doctor for specific information regarding guidelines for care.
